Prompt Of The Week
August 3rd 2010 12:36
Today's prompt is:
Dreams
I had a dream I loved you,
and in my dream you loved me too;
I had a dream I saved you
from darkness and despair
and in my dream you saved me too.
I had a dream I wrote a book,
and grew rich and famous
in my dream you loved me dear
and held my hand through all the process.
I had a dream I traveled the world
and you came with me all the way
and in my dream in Scotland we stopped
and there we chose to say.
I had a dream you kissed me good-bye
and then you went away
and I cried and cried and cried
all alone without you by my side.
I had a dream that you were gone
and you loved me no longer;
I can't say in my dream I blamed you,
though my dream turned to a nightmare.
I had a dream I looked for you
through all the world again
I traveled on a journey
from here to the world's end.
I had a dream I found you
happy with another woman
she gave you the child I never could
and a smile like nothing I'd ever seen.
I had a dream that I walked away
I saw you were happy that day
and so through bitter tears I left
my dreams and hopes shattered.
I had a dream every night
of you in her arms
your loving face haunted me
the man that once was mine.
I had a dream that I walked back
to the end of the world
with murder on my mind
and vengeance in my soul.
I had a dream I killed her
and oh how that woman bled;
I had a dream you caught me
and I didn't know why you were angry.
I had a dream of a thousand trials
and every judge screamed guilty
and I screamed back of course
how could any of you judge me?
I had a dream of a cold jail cell
a place you left me to rot
and my first dream I'd forgot
the dream in which you loved me too...
I woke up in a white room
with four padded walls
I can't seem to find the door
but I know you're on the other side.
I had a dream that I loved you
and you loved me too;
that dream drove me crazy
and now I'm dressed in blue.
This time when I go to sleep
I'll dream that you'll save me
I'll forget the angry look
when I killed your baby.
It's not my usual prose though it tells quite the story, and it's not quite 500 words but I stretched it as far as I could. I quite like this piece.
Your Turn
Dreams
I had a dream I loved you,
and in my dream you loved me too;
I had a dream I saved you
from darkness and despair
and in my dream you saved me too.
I had a dream I wrote a book,
and grew rich and famous
in my dream you loved me dear
and held my hand through all the process.
I had a dream I traveled the world
and you came with me all the way
and in my dream in Scotland we stopped
and there we chose to say.
I had a dream you kissed me good-bye
and then you went away
and I cried and cried and cried
all alone without you by my side.
I had a dream that you were gone
and you loved me no longer;
I can't say in my dream I blamed you,
though my dream turned to a nightmare.
I had a dream I looked for you
through all the world again
I traveled on a journey
from here to the world's end.
I had a dream I found you
happy with another woman
she gave you the child I never could
and a smile like nothing I'd ever seen.
I had a dream that I walked away
I saw you were happy that day
and so through bitter tears I left
my dreams and hopes shattered.
I had a dream every night
of you in her arms
your loving face haunted me
the man that once was mine.
I had a dream that I walked back
to the end of the world
with murder on my mind
and vengeance in my soul.
I had a dream I killed her
and oh how that woman bled;
I had a dream you caught me
and I didn't know why you were angry.
I had a dream of a thousand trials
and every judge screamed guilty
and I screamed back of course
how could any of you judge me?
I had a dream of a cold jail cell
a place you left me to rot
and my first dream I'd forgot
the dream in which you loved me too...
I woke up in a white room
with four padded walls
I can't seem to find the door
but I know you're on the other side.
I had a dream that I loved you
and you loved me too;
that dream drove me crazy
and now I'm dressed in blue.
This time when I go to sleep
I'll dream that you'll save me
I'll forget the angry look
when I killed your baby.
It's not my usual prose though it tells quite the story, and it's not quite 500 words but I stretched it as far as I could. I quite like this piece.
Your Turn
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Comment by RedParrot
As usual see above.
I find poety interesting in a "wish I could understand that foreign language" kind of way. My mother - who is a million years old - can recite stanza after stanza of poems she memorized fifty years ago. And she has the words dead on and the inflection that makes sense of the story right. You know? I read poems expecting Girl from Nantucket kind of rhymes. : ) ... I love getting a chance at reading your poems and having an opportunity to explore the form.
This week's FF was interesting to me. I wanted to do something different with the "dream" theme ... ie not have it as a literal fall-asleep-dream. After a little mulling, came up with above ... more Elgin ...
Hope all is well with you and your arm is doing better.
Cheers!
RP
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
Poetry is an interesting form. In early elementary school I was only taught certain forms of poetry, and I didn't like it. But when I learned about and started writing free verse, I fell in love. I don't have much of a rhyming structure and I never force a rhyme, but I do naturally form some rhymes. This poem came to me in a specific way. I wanted all the stanzas to be about the same length with a similar line structure, but nothing specific. I think it worked quite well.
As for your piece, I've read both this one and last week's now (I've been very busy) and I love both. I love your play on the word dreams and how you changed it up. Quite well set up with Elgin's job, I might add. And Elgin's deadly curiosity and interest in the sun is great. Not only does it make for interesting reading-I love the way Elgin writes-but it's understandable. It humanizes him again-many of us test our boundaries. At some point we all test our boundaries; some of us stop when we get burnt, others don't. I guess Elgin didn't.
Thanks for reading,
~Dianna