Mostly Satisfied
November 10th 2008 10:38
So a few hours ago I hit one hundred and sixty thousand and now I am in a very interesting state of mind. I am comfortably relaxed and really rather lazy, unwilling to do anything but wander around the interwebs for an hour or two before I make my way into dreamland. Happy with my word count, though I am behind certain people, but it doesn't matter. Nor does it matter that I'm sick, because when I am not sick I will have to face school, which is a concept worse than anything my characters have faced in the last week, even being trampled by a llama.
No excerpts tonight, but I think I am going to say just how much this has been therapeutic; my depression has backed off for the most part over the last week, though I am despairing that at this rate I will never get through high school because stress from school will keep me endlessly sick. At this rate I will probably end up dropping out and going to university as a Mature Student, because I could do the work in a decent learning environment, but seeing as I can't get into one until I do the work or am a mature student, I will probably never get through high school.
This doesn't seem like much of a failure to me as none of my immediate family actually managed to get through high school, though some did become mature students later on. But at the same time it is depressing because I live in constant fear of my depression turning me into a miserable failure like my mother.
But for now I am reveling in my success and my excess of words, and I feel very accomplished as a writer even though I am beginning to realize just how much I am not accomplished in certain other areas of my life.
Now that all is said and done, I am going to roam the interwebs for a little while longer before doing that thing that is coveted by most people but not really by me, sleep. I hope that everyone is having a good week, or that they will have a good day tomorrow, because I think that now is a good time to enjoy yourself and have some decent fun.
Happy writing, folks, and enjoy your day today/tomorrow in my honour. I wish you all well.
Good night.
No excerpts tonight, but I think I am going to say just how much this has been therapeutic; my depression has backed off for the most part over the last week, though I am despairing that at this rate I will never get through high school because stress from school will keep me endlessly sick. At this rate I will probably end up dropping out and going to university as a Mature Student, because I could do the work in a decent learning environment, but seeing as I can't get into one until I do the work or am a mature student, I will probably never get through high school.
This doesn't seem like much of a failure to me as none of my immediate family actually managed to get through high school, though some did become mature students later on. But at the same time it is depressing because I live in constant fear of my depression turning me into a miserable failure like my mother.
But for now I am reveling in my success and my excess of words, and I feel very accomplished as a writer even though I am beginning to realize just how much I am not accomplished in certain other areas of my life.
Now that all is said and done, I am going to roam the interwebs for a little while longer before doing that thing that is coveted by most people but not really by me, sleep. I hope that everyone is having a good week, or that they will have a good day tomorrow, because I think that now is a good time to enjoy yourself and have some decent fun.
Happy writing, folks, and enjoy your day today/tomorrow in my honour. I wish you all well.
Good night.
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
Many people have achieved in life without much education.
I'm sure you'll do very well at University, when the time comes.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I loved and hated high school in equal measure, by the end I had found my niche in 3 unit english and extra agriculture.
I desperately wanted to go to Uni - I dont know how it is in canada but over here we have this thing called HECS where if you do not have the money you can put the bills off for a few years and pay it back later. I wasnt keen, because it would mean right now, when I want to buy a house, Id have to pay a Uni debt, so I didnt go. School's easy babe, I know, it doesnt seem that way....Work and the life of an adult is so much worse.
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
Thanks and I hope I will.
~Dianna
Kleo,
*Hugs*
It's not the work it's the people that drive me mad.
~Dianna
Comment by Chris Champion
moneywhither
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
NewlyOld
The Blog of Lists
As Katy said, your writing is exceptional. Your writing should be held up in front of writing classes as a demonstration of the power of clean, spare prose.
Also, you may be the only high school student in the known universe who knows exactly how to use a semi-colon.
I have a suggestion. If you haven't already, try reading When Nietzsche Wept, by Irvin D Yalom. It is in part about how Nietzsche, the great philosopher, turned medical adversity into a positive.
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
I'm proud of my writing but I know how hard it is to make it as a writer. So there's the backup plans, and it's those that I need school for...
But I'm proud of myself; semi-colons and all.
And I'll have to look into it, because I seem to be having a lot of medical adversity lately.
~Dianna
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I was teased everyday until the last 3 years - then they still teased me, but quietly.
If you Stand Out, are full of that Faerie energy....They single you out wherever you go. I put it down to a certain type of jealousy - they see you shining like that and cant bear it, they put you down and try to rip off a bit of that energy for themselves. Ive never seen you, but I know you glow like a star, particularly in a crowd.
I thought when I left school I wouldnt have to suffer the stares anymore, but it actually got worse for me. I cant stand a workplace for very long because the energy of people - their discomfort - grates against me. The more sensitive we are to it, the more it hurts.
But Ive come to carry myself with pride, and if they stare, I think, "Yes, look. Look who walks amoung you...Never thought you'd see a real live faerie did you?"
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
It's more because they're always fighting... there are always cops... people are always getting arrested. I know my reputation but that's not the problem... I don't care what people think of me... I just hate being surrounded by all this BS.
~Dianna
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by Wilson Pon
Health 2 Know
Techno Stuffs
Well, learning and writing is a life long process. Although it might take time to polish, but it's definitely worth for it, if you have the passion on writing
I wish you all the best, Dianna!