Excerpt: Eternia Falling
August 18th 2009 18:26
A small excerpt from Eternia Falling, my Augnowrimo novel.
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I woke up to find myself in a dark room. In one corner of the room there was a tiny lit candle, down to a stub. I looked around, trying to see something, anything, but there I couldn't see anything other than the candle and a small table it appeared to be on. Putting my hands out in front of me I slowly crawled on all fours toward the table, making sure to feel for anything I might hit.
After what seemed like an entire day I reached the table. The moment I reached it, and put one hand up onto the table to feel around for something, anything, the stub of a candle went out. I jumped back as though bitten.
It took me several moments to return my breathing to normal. I took a deep breath and then moved forward again, reaching out for the table. My hand touched down and I felt grainy wood, low quality stuff. That told me I had been taken out of my home somehow, transported away. We didn't have anything like that in the castle. I felt the stub of the now-dead candle and the candle holder it was in; there was another candleholder beside it, but no candle in it.
Nothing on the table, I realized, was of any use to me. I tried to summon a light charm. Though I hadn't really mastered the spell yet, I could conjure up a small flame, that would be slightly better light then the candle. Nothing came, so I tried again. And again. Six times I tried to conjure up a flame but not once did it work. Each time I tried I felt my throat getting drier and sorer, more constricted.
The magic drained me but it didn't work. Breathing got harder as I crawled around the room, trying to find something, anything that would give me light. I realized that there was no door in this room, or at least not one I could open. Not one with a handle of any sort. Then I started to panic, my breaths becoming quick and painful, my eyes widening and my searching growing frantic. I couldn't see, there was nothing to help me see, my magic wasn't working.
“Naomi!” I yelled, “Naomi help me!”
I kept yelling until I couldn't yell anymore, my throat aching. I crawled back to what I thought was the center of the room and curled up into a ball, panting, trying to regain my breath. Just as my breath was returning back to normal a door creaked open. A sliver of light fell on me and I looked up to see a partially open door, and someone whose face I couldn't make out standing in the gap.
A sense of familiarity washed over me. I couldn't recognize them but I knew them. Something told me to be afraid, so I started backing up until I found myself up against a wall. The person took a step forward and closed the door, disorienting me yet again as we slipped into total darkness and I lost sight of the person.
A small blue light appeared, flying upwards into the ceiling, and then it grew brighter there until I could make out vague shapes. I could see where all the walls were, and where the person stood, but still I could not make out their face. The table was behind me and I used it to pull myself up, my still aching legs from Kalan's 'love' shaking with fear. For several moments I wondered how love, something that was said to be so pure, could hurt so much, and then I thought of the pain in my mother's eyes when she saw my father drinking and realized that love always hurt, just in different ways for different people.
The person stepped forward, but the light was still not good enough to really make out a face; though this seemed bright to me after what had felt like an eternity in darkness, I could still barely see the world around me. The room around me, really, for it wasn't much of a world, this tiny room.
The door from which the person had entered-I could see enough now to realize that it was a boy or a man, not a woman-had seemingly disappeared. All around there were stone walls, and seemingly no gap in them. I shivered.
“Hello my dear,” said a familiar voice, the person's mouth that I could just barely make out moving, “it is good to see that you have awakened.”
They grabbed one of my hands quite suddenly and I tried to jump away, only managing to hit myself in the back with the edge of the table. Yelping, I doubled over in pain. The person bent down over me and started to heal the bruises I could feel forming, mumbling something that I couldn't make out in a voice I still could not place.
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There is more but if I let you see the entire scene it would be a BIG spoiler for Moonshadow's Guardian.
I'm currently at 53K for Augnowrimo and intend to hit 55K before I go out (I've got two and a half hours; easy enough) tonight. I might or might not be out all night. Either way a post will still go up tomorrow. I'll be back by mid-afternoon (my time) tomorrow and posting.
How did you like this excerpt?
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I woke up to find myself in a dark room. In one corner of the room there was a tiny lit candle, down to a stub. I looked around, trying to see something, anything, but there I couldn't see anything other than the candle and a small table it appeared to be on. Putting my hands out in front of me I slowly crawled on all fours toward the table, making sure to feel for anything I might hit.
After what seemed like an entire day I reached the table. The moment I reached it, and put one hand up onto the table to feel around for something, anything, the stub of a candle went out. I jumped back as though bitten.
It took me several moments to return my breathing to normal. I took a deep breath and then moved forward again, reaching out for the table. My hand touched down and I felt grainy wood, low quality stuff. That told me I had been taken out of my home somehow, transported away. We didn't have anything like that in the castle. I felt the stub of the now-dead candle and the candle holder it was in; there was another candleholder beside it, but no candle in it.
Nothing on the table, I realized, was of any use to me. I tried to summon a light charm. Though I hadn't really mastered the spell yet, I could conjure up a small flame, that would be slightly better light then the candle. Nothing came, so I tried again. And again. Six times I tried to conjure up a flame but not once did it work. Each time I tried I felt my throat getting drier and sorer, more constricted.
The magic drained me but it didn't work. Breathing got harder as I crawled around the room, trying to find something, anything that would give me light. I realized that there was no door in this room, or at least not one I could open. Not one with a handle of any sort. Then I started to panic, my breaths becoming quick and painful, my eyes widening and my searching growing frantic. I couldn't see, there was nothing to help me see, my magic wasn't working.
“Naomi!” I yelled, “Naomi help me!”
I kept yelling until I couldn't yell anymore, my throat aching. I crawled back to what I thought was the center of the room and curled up into a ball, panting, trying to regain my breath. Just as my breath was returning back to normal a door creaked open. A sliver of light fell on me and I looked up to see a partially open door, and someone whose face I couldn't make out standing in the gap.
A sense of familiarity washed over me. I couldn't recognize them but I knew them. Something told me to be afraid, so I started backing up until I found myself up against a wall. The person took a step forward and closed the door, disorienting me yet again as we slipped into total darkness and I lost sight of the person.
A small blue light appeared, flying upwards into the ceiling, and then it grew brighter there until I could make out vague shapes. I could see where all the walls were, and where the person stood, but still I could not make out their face. The table was behind me and I used it to pull myself up, my still aching legs from Kalan's 'love' shaking with fear. For several moments I wondered how love, something that was said to be so pure, could hurt so much, and then I thought of the pain in my mother's eyes when she saw my father drinking and realized that love always hurt, just in different ways for different people.
The person stepped forward, but the light was still not good enough to really make out a face; though this seemed bright to me after what had felt like an eternity in darkness, I could still barely see the world around me. The room around me, really, for it wasn't much of a world, this tiny room.
The door from which the person had entered-I could see enough now to realize that it was a boy or a man, not a woman-had seemingly disappeared. All around there were stone walls, and seemingly no gap in them. I shivered.
“Hello my dear,” said a familiar voice, the person's mouth that I could just barely make out moving, “it is good to see that you have awakened.”
They grabbed one of my hands quite suddenly and I tried to jump away, only managing to hit myself in the back with the edge of the table. Yelping, I doubled over in pain. The person bent down over me and started to heal the bruises I could feel forming, mumbling something that I couldn't make out in a voice I still could not place.
----------------------------- ----------------------------- ----------------------------
There is more but if I let you see the entire scene it would be a BIG spoiler for Moonshadow's Guardian.
I'm currently at 53K for Augnowrimo and intend to hit 55K before I go out (I've got two and a half hours; easy enough) tonight. I might or might not be out all night. Either way a post will still go up tomorrow. I'll be back by mid-afternoon (my time) tomorrow and posting.
How did you like this excerpt?
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Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
This is fantastic - your writing is really evolving!
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
Why thank you
I've always been good at writing dreams, especially unpleasant ones. And Eternia's been around for a long time. She's been a character in my head since 2005. In 2007 I wrote her story as backstory in Moonshadow's Guardian and now I'm writing her a novel.
It's pretty dark and rather twisted, because that's the nature of Eternia's story, but I'm having fun.
~Dianna