Escape
June 4th 2009 03:11
They told me they'd catch me.
They said that there was nothing I could do, they would find me. Hunt me to the edge of the world if they had to.
Personally, I didn't believe them at first. But I guess that when the demons of my past found us and hunted us, I really did come to believe it. When they tore us apart. They knew what you were, what you are to me.
Because you see, you are the love of my life. It has been this way since I first fell in love with you; no other man has captured my heart, my soul like you have. It is still yours, though now it would seem you no longer want me. It's sad, because I want you. I love you, you know?
You are someone quite amazing. You were kind to me for months; in your arms each night I slept. You held me when I was sad and when I was happy. You always made sure I had something to eat, somewhere warm to sleep. Your arms was the place where I was happiest-the happiest I've ever been.
I still dream about you. I feel his arms around me when I wake in the morning and I cry out in pain on the inside because all I can think of... is that I wish it was you. Do you feel the same when you wake up in her arms?
He loves me, you know that? And it's breaking my heart because I don't know what to do. I say 'I love you too' and the words ring hollow and empty in my ears. I hear the bitterness in my voice but he does not. I keep him blind because he is sick, he is dying. And I am afraid that you have taken that part from me. I doubt I will ever love another.
I thought it was meant to be. I still think that you are my everything, the love of my life. I am empty without you, a hollow shell of the girl you brought back from the seeming dead. You brought back part of me I thought died with Daddy, and now I am almost certain it has died with you.
Each night I wish that I could fall asleep in your arms one last time; that I could hold you, kiss you, make bittersweet love to you if only one last time.
I don't know if I could ever be with you again. It hurts so much that it doesn't even hurt anymore. I am empty. I am nothing without you but a lost soul wandering the woods of despair; I suppose that is all I ever was without you. I don't know if I could be with you and trust that you would not kill me like this again.
But despite all of this, I pray that you come back. I pray that I can try one last time with you. That I can kiss you, look you in the eyes and tell you just how much I love you.
I still want to try again, even if it kills me.
So I must run. Far, far away. You are with her; you aren't coming back to me. I love you and you say that you still love me. But I cannot be sure. I am afraid. I cannot trust myself when every turn I take reminds me of the love we shared. I must be free of this burden, far away where the memory will still touch me but it cannot burn.
For now, I must escape. But trust in me that I will always return, from any part of this world, should you need me-just call my name and I will be there.
I love you.
~Dianna L. Gunn
They said that there was nothing I could do, they would find me. Hunt me to the edge of the world if they had to.
Personally, I didn't believe them at first. But I guess that when the demons of my past found us and hunted us, I really did come to believe it. When they tore us apart. They knew what you were, what you are to me.
Because you see, you are the love of my life. It has been this way since I first fell in love with you; no other man has captured my heart, my soul like you have. It is still yours, though now it would seem you no longer want me. It's sad, because I want you. I love you, you know?
You are someone quite amazing. You were kind to me for months; in your arms each night I slept. You held me when I was sad and when I was happy. You always made sure I had something to eat, somewhere warm to sleep. Your arms was the place where I was happiest-the happiest I've ever been.
I still dream about you. I feel his arms around me when I wake in the morning and I cry out in pain on the inside because all I can think of... is that I wish it was you. Do you feel the same when you wake up in her arms?
He loves me, you know that? And it's breaking my heart because I don't know what to do. I say 'I love you too' and the words ring hollow and empty in my ears. I hear the bitterness in my voice but he does not. I keep him blind because he is sick, he is dying. And I am afraid that you have taken that part from me. I doubt I will ever love another.
I thought it was meant to be. I still think that you are my everything, the love of my life. I am empty without you, a hollow shell of the girl you brought back from the seeming dead. You brought back part of me I thought died with Daddy, and now I am almost certain it has died with you.
Each night I wish that I could fall asleep in your arms one last time; that I could hold you, kiss you, make bittersweet love to you if only one last time.
I don't know if I could ever be with you again. It hurts so much that it doesn't even hurt anymore. I am empty. I am nothing without you but a lost soul wandering the woods of despair; I suppose that is all I ever was without you. I don't know if I could be with you and trust that you would not kill me like this again.
But despite all of this, I pray that you come back. I pray that I can try one last time with you. That I can kiss you, look you in the eyes and tell you just how much I love you.
I still want to try again, even if it kills me.
So I must run. Far, far away. You are with her; you aren't coming back to me. I love you and you say that you still love me. But I cannot be sure. I am afraid. I cannot trust myself when every turn I take reminds me of the love we shared. I must be free of this burden, far away where the memory will still touch me but it cannot burn.
For now, I must escape. But trust in me that I will always return, from any part of this world, should you need me-just call my name and I will be there.
I love you.
~Dianna L. Gunn
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