November 2008 - Fictional Worlds

Your eyes so cold
They haunt me in my dreams;
Throughout all the years,
My darkest memories.

I hate you but I love you
For all that you have done;
Could you not
Have just accepted my love?

You knew it was there,
And perhaps this is why
You became so cruel
With every harsh word
I fell apart
Knowing you could never feel the same.

I don't know why
But I still love you
In the depths of my broken heart;
Please don't take it,
Don't break it,
Because if it breaks one more time
It will shatter-
And will be the end

Of my short life.
---------------------

No idea where it came from or who inspired it, but hey, I kind of like it.

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Posted By: Dianna G - Category: Poetry

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Dear Daddy

November 28th 2008 11:58

After 3 years apart you'd think that every day wouldn't be quite this much pain.

Dear Daddy,

It has been three years to the day since you died; it feels like so long ago now. The time has flown in one way, but in another so much has changed. I miss you now as much as I ever did, and I don't think this hurt will ever go away. I remember where I was three years ago today, by your side, watching as you left me. I'm fifteen now and I've never really left your side in that hospital bed; it hurts so much, so much just to know that you're gone. I'm not where you wanted me to be right now, I'm not where I wanted me to be either. I'm still struggling.

I'm struggling with everything that happened then and everything that's happened since. I think life is really just the school of hard knocks. They always like to tell us that it can look up, but I'm beginning to wonder if it really can. One thing after another keeps coming down on my head just like it was three years ago. People tell me to make my own happiness but I'm floundering still, drowning in my own little ocean; I just don't know how.

A lot has changed since then, I suppose; my hair is black now, but I know that really doesn't surprise anyone. That's just the superficial part-I think you know the reality of it. The things I went through, over the last year, the things I went through the year before that. You've seen how things have just slipped with school. I just can't take it Daddy, and I'm sorry. I know you wanted me to do better, to be so much more-but I just can't. I try so hard and I always land even harder back where I started, which is a very unpleasant place to be. You know what it was like.

The image of you on your deathbed still hurts me, and I still do things in your memory; I'm
writing this letter, after all. I love you, Daddy. I love you and I could never be mad at you for leaving me, I can only miss you. I can't be mad at you and I think you know that; you know how much I love you. And you knew it then. I wouldn't have left your side that day, I really wouldn't have, but I guess three hours is long enough to mourn by the side of a dead man. I know you're out there though, somewhere, watching over me; you told me so in your dreams.

I hope wherever you are now is a better place than this; things keep going down further and further, and the economy is dying. Maybe you missed the worst of it, maybe you were lucky to get out when you did. You can still watch me go through my life, I know you can; I know you already are. I don't doubt you, Daddy, I don't doubt your strength to watch over me.

I've come a long way with my writing as much as I try so hard in the outside world and I keep falling short. I really am trying; this morning I hit three hundred thousand words for Nanowrimo. I wonder if you remember that? I wanted to hit the three hundred in honour of you; I hope you're as proud of me as I think you are right now. I wish you could tell me, but while I can talk to you through these letters and trust that you will see them, it doesn't work in reverse.

I've been working really hard on it and I'll keep working at it. You know and I know that I'm stubborn enough to reach my dreams. I'm reaching for them, Daddy, and I can only hope and pray that I get them-that I get what I need. I don't think there's much else in this world I can do, but I know I can write; I've heard it too many times from too many different people to disbelieve it.

There's so much more I could say, I guess, but I don't know what to say. I miss you a lot though Daddy, and I think I'm going where I need to go-I think I'm following the right path. I can only hope that you agree.

Missing you&Lots of love,
Dianna
--------------------

Write your own letters to those you love who have passed away; let us never forget the dead, and forever honour them.

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Posted By: Dianna G - Category: Short Non-Fiction, Writing Exercises

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Prompt: Just Kill Me

November 27th 2008 11:51

A friend of mine-very close online friend-recently got dumped and may or may not live through the aftermath of the breakup, so here goes:
----------------------------- -------------------------
Just Kill Me

Just kill me
For ever dreaming I could be happy
Take my heart and make it bleed
'Til there's nothing left to see
But a stain on a dead woman's
Empty chest.

Just kill me
For ever thinking I could smile again
And have it be real for more than a moment;
Please rip my heart out
I don't want it there anymore.

Just kill me
Make my heart your trophy
It hurts too much for me
It'll look good
On your mantelpiece.

Just kill me
For thinking I could be happy
For more than just a second
A short second
Of a short day.

Just kill me,
You know you want
To see me bleed.
----------------------------

Your turn.

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Posted By: Dianna G - Category: Poetry, Writing Exercises

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Almost there!

November 26th 2008 08:07

I'm sitting at just over 275K now and I wanted to pop in to say congratulations to everyone who's on their way to finishing Nano, or who already has finished. I've seen quite a few people with validated winner bars on the forums in the last few days and I can see so many who are on their way.

Even if you wrote one word this month-congratulations. Even if you just wandered the forums and didn't get anything done at all-congratulations

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Still going...

November 25th 2008 08:08

So I'm at 265K and still going. I did finish Jihad and ended up starting a sequel, Fallen, because it didn't end like it was supposed to and there were a lot of loose threads as a result. I get the feeling this is going to turn into three or four books. A bit of a commitment but hey...

This is an excerpt from Jihad

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Home Stretch

November 24th 2008 06:40

With six days left, Nanowrimo is almost over. (5 in some parts of the world) We're now in the home stretch.

For those of you who are behind, it doesn't matter; just push yourself to achieve as much as you can in these last few days. Something is better than nothing. Just do what you can

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Pep Talk!

November 22nd 2008 11:19

I am now sitting at my original goal of 250, 000 words.

Please donate to Nanowrimo here

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Slowing Down

November 21st 2008 08:08

So I've reached 240, 000 and am within ten thousand words of my original goal. At this point my wrist is really acting up, so injuries are going to massively slow down my writing from here on in-and actually I've slowed down a lot since I hit two hundred thousand.

I just want to say that Nanowrimo is a load of fun; it's been great this year as the tenth anniversary came around. People are writing so much and I'm so proud of everyone. The forums are a great place to go just to talk with other writers and read everyone else's complaints and the good stories, too

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Fundraising! (Nano)

November 19th 2008 10:43

This is a fundraising website which is sponsoring Nano, and so I get my own page of fundraising! Great job Chris Baty, I'm glad to see something like this.

If anyone remembers, a while back I was looking to do a fundraising thing of sorts: well this will give me donation goodies as well as giving to Nano, which has given me so much

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I Hang My Head In Shame.

November 18th 2008 08:40

I wrote... 15K... in a week. But tomorrow night I'm going to be taking on a challenge, and I invite all Nanowriters to join me in my quest:

From 8PM EST to 1AM EST, I will be writing. My goal? 15K in five hours. The normal goal is 10K in five hours, but more or less is just fine

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Toronto Is Writing...

November 12th 2008 11:52

Well I hit 200, 000 words this month so far and I'm pretty proud of myself, though there are a few people who have gone above and beyond what I seem capable of. They, quite frankly, scare me. In the good way.

But here's a little tidbit about Toronto

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Jihad: Excerpt number 2

November 11th 2008 09:32

I've been making quite a bit of progress on Jihad, so here's just a little poem from the beginning of the chapter I'm currently working on:

Twins together shall make

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Mostly Satisfied

November 10th 2008 10:38

So a few hours ago I hit one hundred and sixty thousand and now I am in a very interesting state of mind. I am comfortably relaxed and really rather lazy, unwilling to do anything but wander around the interwebs for an hour or two before I make my way into dreamland. Happy with my word count, though I am behind certain people, but it doesn't matter. Nor does it matter that I'm sick, because when I am not sick I will have to face school, which is a concept worse than anything my characters have faced in the last week, even being trampled by a llama.

No excerpts tonight, but I think I am going to say just how much this has been therapeutic; my depression has backed off for the most part over the last week, though I am despairing that at this rate I will never get through high school because stress from school will keep me endlessly sick. At this rate I will probably end up dropping out and going to university as a Mature Student, because I could do the work in a decent learning environment, but seeing as I can't get into one until I do the work or am a mature student, I will probably never get through high school

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Jihad: Excerpt

November 9th 2008 10:40

As the story is completely different and for a number of reasons I had to restart, I am also using Jihad as part of my Nano projects, so I'm inspired to finish it. This is part of the Prologue. Have fun reading! Comments would be much appreciated, as this is the story I care the most about at this point-I want to write it well this time around so there's less work on it later. It's been in the works for far too long already.

Here goes

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Prompt: Sudden Death

November 8th 2008 09:02

In an effort to write a last thousand words tonight, I had a friend give me a prompt... it was Sudden Death... and this is absolutely beautiful:

Sudden Death

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Posted By: Dianna G - Category: Updates on Novels, Writing Exercises

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Nanowrimo: Excerpts

November 6th 2008 09:54

Here are 3 excerpts, one from each of the stories I'm working on:
----------------------------- ----------------------------- ------------------------

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Help Zette!

November 5th 2008 20:09

This is an update on the little fundraiser we have going on for Zette. (Who, by the way, is a Nanowriter; you can find her free Nano-advice novel in eBook format on the Reaching 50,000! forum. It's a wonderful little book.)

Really Long Link
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Pep Talk: Nano!!

November 5th 2008 19:17

As I'm at 60K, I think I have the right to say I know a little something about Nanowrimo.

The first year, it's a challenge to hit 50K. You slog through it day after day. Sometimes the words flow perfectly, and other days they simply refuse to come. Some days you get your minimum with ease and go well beyond it. Other days it's a struggle just to get to that 1, 667 words for the day. Believe me, I know; my first year was difficult, but I managed

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Thus far...

November 5th 2008 08:46

Though I had a late start, being sick in bed for the last two days has prompted me to write quite a lot, as my beautiful word count of 56, 435 will prove. Figures this would happen; but the laptop and thus being able to write and chat with my fellow Nanoers has saved me from jumping off any cliffs. It's the most wonderful thing in the world.

The least wonderful is that my wrist no longer snaps back into place when it snaps out of place, so now I can't move it very much

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Nanowrimo!

November 2nd 2008 07:26

Well I've started my Nano, it took me a while because of being out all night Friday and not getting home until noon-and when I got home, the first thing I did was sleep, but I've started and I'm at 5K and I've already written some fun scenes.

Chris Baty did and sent out the first pep talk, and I have to say that the pep talks are one of my favorite parts of Nano. In fact, I still have Garth Nix's from last year in my Gmail inbox, saved away

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January 2009

4 Posts